A Giant Mountain of Lady Problems

To all the fellas, I'm really glad you're here, but this post is for the women.

I dedicate this post to all the female hikers who continue to get out there and do the thing that makes you feel most alive - through periods, pregnancies, perimenopause, menopause, and all of the hormonal fluctuations that make us soft and strong, vulnerable and powerful, friendly and fiesty.

I hope you hike through all of the beautiful and challenging stages of a woman’s life. Because we know we’re better after a day outdoors - with sweat stains, wild hair, and a slight sunburn; we feel close to the truest version of ourselves. We feel whole.

But know when to rest.

Our bodies are always talking, nudging us towards the natural cycle of creation and pause. Sometimes the best choice is to cancel the hike and take a nap.

Then keep on hiking, especially with other women, because there’s a powerful, grounding force in that. And whatever level of hiker you are, if you’re out there doing it, you’re a phenomenal women in my book.

On to the story of our hiking trip, twice sabotaged by what my son Henry refers to as, “lady problems.”

My friend Jaime and I had planned to do our first overnight backpacking trip, which entailed 20 miles round-trip, summiting four peaks (Zealand, Mount Bond, West Bond and Bond Cliffs), and hauling our camping gear to spend the night.

This hike had been high on my list for several years. It would also mark Jaime’s 67th and FINAL hike of the 4,000 footers in NE, a wild accomplishment - one I was honored to witness and celebrate with her. We were beyond excited, talking through every detail of our overstuffed hiking packs.

Since long hikes require maximum daylight, it’s best to do this trek close to the summer solstice. We’d rescheduled our trip several times, due to family commitments, finally settling on the weekend of July 12th.

Then on July 10th, I got a UTI (urinary tract infection, for the lucky ones who are new to this term). This was a bit shocking, as I hadn’t had one since my twenties…and am now 47. In doing some research while laid out on the couch, I read that women are more susceptible to UTI’s in perimenopause, due to fluctuating and decreasing estrogen levels - oh yay!

I reached out to Jaime and we decided to give it some time before making a final call. Then I got my period. Then Jaime checked the weather. The forecast for Sunday was overcast - a huge bummer since clouds would cover the summits, blocking the mindblowing views we’d been dreaming about.

Jaime decided to call it, “UTI, period, clouds. This was not meant to be.”

As a consolation, we opted for a day hike on Saturday. Jaime’s next list to tackle is the NE 100 Highest, so we’d start with the 7.8-mile Baldpate East in Grafton Notch. My family had already made plans, since I was supposed to be away, so I was free to hike. My husband offered to get up early and drive me 20 minutes north to Jaime’s house, because he’s the greatest, and also knows his wife is happiest after time in the mountains.

I’d decided to hold off on the prescribed antibiotics, trying the more natural CranActin supplement, unsweetened cranberry juice, and sacral chakra clearing meditations (you name it, I tried it) to appease my angry bladder. I’d taken enough antibiotics in my life to know that although often necessary, they do require loads of supplemental probiotics to re-establish all of the good bacteria that gets wiped out, along with the bad. I was kicking that can - but I did throw one antibiotic in my pack, never thinking I’d actually need it.

And need it, I did. As soon as we started our hike, I could feel my symptoms returning. At one mile in, they were shouting at me. Oh shit. Now what??

I did not want to let my friend down, and we’d driven two hours to get to Grafton Notch. I was kicking myself for making this plan while unwell, and felt awful about not summiting with her. But my body would not allow it, and I had to listen.

When you have a good hiking partner, you’re in it together - always. No matter what happens on the trail. When I told Jaime that I didn’t think I could keep going, she quickly responded, “Let’s just head back, this wasn’t meant to be!”

I’ve never loved my friend more than at that moment. We’d driven a round-trip four hours for a two-mile hike, and she was happy to quit early to get me home ASAP.

Nothing compares to the support of our female friendships.

Here we are at the end. Jaime looks great and I'm on the struggle bus.

On our short descent to the trailhead, Jaime started early signs of a migraine, a gift from her period (which, oh right, started at one of our restroom stops on the way to the hike). During our drive home, her headache got so bad, she had to take a migraine pill. We were a pair of wounded soldiers…and at this point, it was laughable. Thank GOD, we weren’t setting up camp on a mountain in preparation for a four-summit day in the Pemigewassett Wilderness!

In the end, we both needed to quit the hike for our “lady problems."

I realized that I never should have signed up for a 7-mile hike, two hours from home, while not feeling my best.

I took the antibiotics and stopped trying to cranberry my way out of a UTI.

And now, Jaime and I are stronger hiking partners, because we know that we have eachother’s backs. That’s what happens out there on trail - you go through different challenges, face them together, and bond as a result. It’s one of my favorite parts of hiking.

We have a new date for our backpacking trip to the Bonds and we’re planning on good health and clear skies. Whatever happens out there, I know we’ll support eachother through it.

May you all find women to hike with and if you’re looking for one, reach out! I’m in the works of planning an in-person intro to hiking series and hope to connect female hikers with eachother, so you don’t have to go it alone. Stay tuned!